Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life With Only My Mom

My mom had me when she was 18. Now my mom left her family at the age of 17. She still wont tell me why. Well anyways my dad was a cook in the navy and supported my mom till I was 2 years old. She had left him because he smacked her in the face with a gun. She then ran back to her family for a year or two till she had her next son named Robert. One of my first memories was when I was four and put this huge teddy bear over Robert while he was a few months old and sleeping. His dad sees me do this and says that I was going to kill Robert and whacks me with the teddy bear which was bigger than me at the time and I hit my head so hard against the wall that all I remember is crying for such a long time then running to my mom.

She living with this women named Susie after a while. That whole time we lived there my mom thought me how to dance. I learned how to follow beats perfectly but it was all because she use to go out clubbing with Susie all the time.

I start going to school a year later and my mom is pregnant again. I was thinking why another child because the more kids she had the more she didn't pay attention to me. This time I have sister who's dad smoked weed- her name was Angel. Well I'm around six or seven and my mom is arguing with Angel's dad in our room. I walk in and all I hear is my mom say " YOU CAN'T HIT MY CHILDREN!" I happened to walk in as soon as she says that and I go sit on a high chair that was in the middle of the room and he says "WATCH THIS." Lifts the chair with me in it and spins it so fast that at this point all I say was white. I started to gain vision again as I was climbing as fast as possible with so much fear up the bed where my mom was at to hide behind her.

At this point my mom was either working graveyard or clubbing more and had so many baby-sitters watch me and some of Susie's kids. The first one left alcohol on the table one night and my little brother drank it thinking it was a soda and got really sick because of it. My mom changed baby-sitters after that incident a couple of years later to a man named Oscar who had me and Susie's daughter get naked and rub against each other. He never showed his face again after that. From then on we had three or four more baby-sitters that did nothing abusive to us which I liked. When I was ten I had this baby-sitter who had kids that were a lot older then me. They all knew how to dance and thought me how to dance even more.

My mom then has another kid from a guy I never met named Juan. Ever since I could remember she would hit us. I remember one night I was talking to my brother and told him " I bet you if we put together all the times that mom hit us into one hit, then hit mom with that hit then she would die because it would be too strong." I always tried to be on her good side but somehow always got hit really badly, and you can tell she was possessed by her anger by the look on her face. After she had Juan she had this baby-sitter named Fred who was Susie's friend, he hit me and my brother Anthony like everyday. He hit us hard though, and the next door neighbor would even hear it but never said anything about it. One day she did though after the longest time and finally my mom had him not be our baby-sitter anymore. I hated him for so long.

A little after this my mom has another son named Lucas. By this time she had Anthony, Robert, and me move in with her sister for a year. I actually liked it, felt like I was getting taken care of instead of abused. My mom was always single the whole time taking care of us, we never really stayed in one house for too long because she would always have problems paying for the rent, so many times we had to use candles because the lights to the house would get shut off, she had no food to cook so she would tell us that we have to go to bed with no dinner because were acting up. We even had to wash our clothes in the bath and dry them on the oven.

Well after we came back from our aunts I was 12 or 13. My brother Anthony hated Lucas's dad who was living with us in a hotel, and Anthony tried to stabbed him one time. Me and Anthony always went to go hang out with friends because we hated living at the hotel. My mom sent us away again because of money issues to our other aunt who lived an hour away. I kind of liked it after a while but Anthony hated it. He fought with our aunts husband and we moved back with our mom after two years.

Now when I was 16 and living in a one bedroom house with at the time with five of my siblings and Lucas' dad. My mom finally breaks up with him and becomes muslim. I hated it because it was out of nowhere and she had us going to church all the time, so I rebelled and made so many mean jokes about her. I later figure out that she did it only have some random husband take care of her and all her children because thats what the man has to do in that religion. She met him online.

We moved to Anaheim which I hated because I was with my girlfriend at the time. My brother Anthony later gets in a fight with her new husband. I didn't want to be around the man either because of how short tempered he was. I left to live with a friend at the age of 17 so that I didn't have to live in that mess anymore that my mom created.

I have a lot of point to forgive here, and thats what I am going to do when I wake up again. Thanks for reading

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