Saturday, May 28, 2011

How I Never Seen Money As The Issue

Money was always the issue for me growing up. My mom would always be working hardly ever being home. Candles had to be used a lot because the light bills weren't paid.not having enough food. We would hand wash our clothes in the bath tube and dry them on the stove door. My mom was never there because of money and I never really noticed that till now. My mom left my dad when I was two so I never had any financial support from him.

I remember stealing toys from other kids when I was younger because I never really had any, I never saw money as the issue at the time but it obviously was. My mom would never live in a house for longer then a year as I was growing up due to money problems and so we would live in shittier and shittier conditions. As the years went by she wold have more and more kids pointlessly because she couldn't take care of them all. I have lived with two of my aunts before because my mom couldn't support us all. I just bounced around schools homes till I was like 13 and my mom started living in hotels which I hated. Five kids and two adults packed into one room building was pretty hectic. Finally she moved into a house again that still had one room but this time there were six kids and two adults which was just as worse as the hotels.

She found a way out of her money problem by finding someone else that would take care of her and her six kids which was to become Muslim which in that religion the male is ordered by god to take care of the women and all the children she possess. We move after she is married to a Muslim man who she is still married to till today and had three more kids with. I got my first job when we moved and all I spent my money on was clothes because of how I was so into how I looked even though I was poor which I'm sure is the only reason why I tried so hard to look good or attractive with nice clothes because I knew how poor I was. I then start working at Disneyland which I still wasted all my money on clothes as well. After that I left my mom to live with a friend to have fun but sold drugs to make money and when I went back to my moms she supported me again.

I am now 22 years old and my girlfriend pays for all of what I need which is food clothes and gas. She is going the navy to make more money because she is tired of working at her waitressing job and we need a place to live. I am planning on doing my desteni process the whole while that she is in the navy which is four years, and she plans on joining desteni afterwards when she is done with her navy business. I plan on going back to school and doing something that will get me in the position to do what is best for all. So while she is making money in the navy I am going to be re educating myself and learning the desteni material.

I had all these problems in my life and never saw that money was what was causing it, because I would blame other things like my feelings or god or my mom but it was always money. I am now in a position where I have no money and having my girlfriend support me, she even paid for my desteni shirt. From when I was younger I had not seen that money was the issue and why we were so limited with everything. I will look at money in a more understanding way as it is what "makes the world go round" but in reality the earth moves itself. that term is just used to indicate the importance that we've place on money. in an equal money system we make the world go round, not money.

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