I first thought of me meditating by watching videos of channelers, basher, April Croft, and others, I saw it as interesting. What interested me into it was how the channelers talked different dimensions, aliens, gods, galactic warriors, chakras, and meditating. I saw meditating as a way into the dimensions. It was me wanting to escape reality but while I was participating in my meditation I had not considered this. I had two other friends that liked to participate in discussions about meditation.
The reason they were in such agreement with the whole meditation thing was because all three of us believed that we were gods somehow and that we had to somehow magically communicate with our higher conscious to somehow activate our godlike powers that were in the dimensions somewhere and to talk to them we had to meditate. Pretty much the whole story was made up by me because of all the B.S. I believed in from videos on YouTube, I just put it all together and tried to see how my life at the time related to all the information I received.
At the same time I was watching an anime where there were three godlike characters and my two other friends and I actually believed we were those characters and that our powers would be similar or the same as theirs it was only to fuel the idea of us being gods.
I was spending hours a day meditating just shutting my mind off so that I could not be here in hope that
I would gain some magical powers that no else in this world had. Of course this was ignorant of me to think but really all my life I was pretty stupid.
I started to smoke weed a lot more because I noticed my experience in meditation was enhanced. I would actually experience crazy things as I meditated high but I know it was just an excuse for me to get high more and trying a better way to experience my high.
One of the first desteni videos I saw was one with Andrea, explaining her demon possession and only listened to what I wanted to listen to and just possessed by my stupidity to not see what she was actually talking about. I did the same with the bit of Sunnete's videos I watched and then started to see what it was desteni was actually talking about with the little bit of comments, asking questions, and coming to hear Bernard. I can see how deep I existed in my mind the whole time when I listened to Bernard. I started coming across videos where Sunette talks about how stop the mind and how meditation was deception. This stopped me with my participation in meditation and I told my friends as well but they did not want to believe me. They never really meditated but they believed they were going to be gods and someday they'll get powers to stop the government, I blamed myself for this for a while till I think it was Andrea that told me it was their fault for accepting and allowing the B.S. I presented them and to worry about myself so I am and I need to talk self responsibility for what I created.