Saturday, May 7, 2011

Support I didn't know of

I watched a video of Sunette saying of cigarettes can be a tool used to support oneself, I never looked at cigarettes as support, I never saw that cigarettes did support me in times that I didn't support myself in. I found this interesting to look at, how cigarettes were supporting me. I continue thinking on this point and realize that everything in this reality is support. How the physical supports all life. When your hungry you need to support your body to eat. When a friend laughs at your joke, the laugh is a response to support the joke. When you have friends that all drink alcohol, they are all supporting each other in their habit of drinking alcohol. Whatever one does for stimulation is supporting either the mind as ego and self interest or as the physical and what is best for all. 

When I smoke cigarettes it supports my addictions and my ego and self interests. I know this because it holds me in the same cycle of continuing to be the same. What are actual supporting tools are the one's that desteni give because they are whats best for all because all can use them as actual support to stop ones addictions and actually change. 

I fell in my process the day before yesterday and that was because I didn't have a clear starting point within the reason why I would put a stop to cigarettes.I never saw that cigarettes were supporting me. I just saw them as addictive and that I had no control over. so when I blogged on me stopping cigarettes I only lasted three days. I smoked so many the past two days and I know it was because I fell. I now see that cigarettes are connected to more things that I used to support myself with out of fear and not knowing, which are not excuses to not stand. I use to drink alcohol abusively for a year when I was 17 to 18 years of age. This was when I had my first cigarette and liked how being buzzed off alcohol and smoking a cigarette felt. I had friends that all drank and all smoked cigarettes all the time so I felt like I should support myself the same way that they are supporting themselves. Five years of abusively accepting and allowing myself to consume cigarettes. I have to clear out all of what connects cigarettes and what it supported me in, and alcohol was one of them. Cigarettes also supported me to not take responsibilities in a lot of moments and not stand for myself by instead of me handling what needs to be done. 

So my starting point is clear, this is for me, I am stopping my cigarette addiction for me. By stopping I am telling myself that cigarettes are no longer valid in supporting me as life, I support me as life as breathe as the physical. I no longer require cigarettes to support me to live. I am not stopping out of fear or because I feel like I have to or because I feel influenced. I am stopping because this is what is best for all. Every time the point of a cigarette comes up,I will tell myself that I no longer need them as or for support for myself and that I am my support and then forgive myself for the point even trying to exist still then direct myself and walk. Thank you desteni because you guys are the actual living support here, never have I seen such support and it's all here. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see what cigarettes did for me, thus not letting me have a clear starting point with in stopping its abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall with in my process of stopping the mind by stopping my cigarette abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it's okay to fall with in my process when it clearly is not.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smoke cigarettes two days in a row after I told myself that I wasn't going to smoke anymore.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have cigarettes support my ego and my self interests.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not support myself and use cigarettes instead as support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol as an excuse to smoke cigarettes so much.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol for a whole year when all it does is support my abuse even more.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to influence myself into being addicted to cigarettes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have cigarettes support me in going cycles of repetitive actions doing nothing for self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have cigarettes control me and not me control them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have cigarettes support me for five years.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let cigarettes get in my way of doing what needs to be done.

I will go 21 days with out smoking cigarettes, and after those twenty one days I will continue to walk till I die with no more cigarettes

5 comments:

  1. cool thanks for sharing, i realized that general, by drugs which are not necessary for my body i abuse my body(mainly alcohol and pot, pot due to damaged larynx and trachea) and cigarettes - abuse of plants and small children who are exploitated on plantations which is cruel...

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  2. James, I applaud and support you in stopping cigarettes. But as a rule, I suggest you write about these kinds of things that you are working on :after: you have proven to yourself you transcended the point. Otherwise you could set yourself up for another fall, but this time, it will be public - and it's not necessary. It is great that you are writing this out, but keep it to yourself until you KNOW you've beaten this! Then your blogs have more power, because the describe the events that you've lived. There are too many people that blog and boast about how they are 'standing' or 'facing a point.' but it doesn't mean anything while one is in the middle of working the problem -- because the possibility is there for failure and looping the point again. And let me tell you, that isn't fun. So cool, you are determined to quit cigarettes. It would even be better to hear from after you know you licked it for good.

    Cheers.

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  3. Hi James, I support and applaud you as well and I agree with Darryl, and have found his suggestions to be very effective. All of us at Desteni who once smoked have stopped and are grateful that we did. I'm going to post a video link on your face book wall by Sunette that will assist you as well. You can find it on youtube by the name: 1 Stopping Smoking with Principle before Preference Thanks, Enjoy!

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  4. Very cool realizations James, once I realized those same points as well, is when stopping smoking, in a way, actually became possible- when I realized that it was 'simply' a matter of standing as self-support in the 'places' where I'd been using cigarettes as 'support' which was really in the form of a coping mechanism. It can take some pushing as the physical might take some time to 'balance out' from the change. Cool you are taking this point on, it is a cool way to establish self-will.
    Darryl makes a cool point, I've experienced that myself, actually with the point of stopping smoking, lol. Indeed, it is much more supportive I've come to realize, to share about a point that's been walked to completion, because until it's been walked, there could be points not yet realized or understood and then you can end up contradicting yourself in reality which sucks, lol.
    So the not-yet-walked points you might want to keep to yourself til it's walked, but the realizations you've shared here are cool!
    Thanks James

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