Ever since I was little I always loved to take long showers. I would take at least an hour shower every time I went into the shower. I never really saw it as bad because it was so relaxing, with the hot water sitting down naked, it was just so soothing. I see though that I always did it to feel good about myself because I always felt like shit, like I always had a horrible day. My mom would get mad of course but I really didn't care because I was relaxed. Every time I shower I sit the whole time, I could take a bath but never did just because I loved how the shower water would just spray on me the whole time.
I never noticed how much I exist in my mind but every time I showered I'd and talk in my mind as back chat. I would just sit there forever thinking about BS never getting anywhere but staying in my mind. The shower was a great place for me to listen to me as my mind and I did this daily or whenever I showered.
I remember when I had to live at other places like my aunts house or something I would only shower when she was not home so that I can stay in the shower as long as I wanted which was really selfish thing of me to do. I never consider the money she had to pay for the gas and water I used up. I also never considered the many people that could be drinking that water that I wasted just to enjoy my relaxation. It was very demonic when I actually look at it as there are people that hardly get water at all in this world. There are also people that have to walk miles to get only a limited supply of water thats not even pure clean water, and here I am getting mad when I forget to bring a water bottle with me when ever I go out somewhere.
I use to drink soda all day like it was water, it was like an addiction, but since I have been more involved with desteni I saw it as abuse towards my physical and wanted to stop it completely which I have yet to do but I only drink it like twice a month now which is a dramatic improvement to me, but what I have replaced it for is water. I drink so much water now everyday I see it as abusive. I know we need water and that I what we are but I literally drink it all day, it seems like a replacement of soda.
I still take long ass showers and I no longer want to do so because of how much I try and take advantage of my position. Now it my girlfriend that gets mad at me for my abusive consumption and waste of water. I need to stop using the shower as a place of escape when there are people in this world that can't even escape the their struggle FOR water.
I will no longer take long ass showers and drink so much water because it is neglectful and abusive.I will stop the demonic abuse that I see as acceptable which it is is certainly not. I will put an end to this abuse that is unnecessary and I am not to allow this any further. I will no longer sit in a shower but do what I am to do with my physical which is wash myself and get out.
I will no longer see water something that I can just use freely and waste just because I don't see others that suffer from no water.