Saturday, June 4, 2011

Self Forgiveness On My Abusive Water Consumption And Usage

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take hour showers, it is for my self interest and is not what is best for all, I ignore the fact that others can't enjoy a hour long hot bath as I can and it is just a waste when I take a shower to wash myself, not relax for an hour.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see taking hour showers as acceptable, they are obviously not an abusive form consumption.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit in the shower, when I am to stand and wash myself and get out.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that me taking hour showers are abusive because I'd rather live as self interest and feel relaxed and not consider the abuse I would cause by using so much water.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek wasting water as a way of relaxation when I am breathe and that is where my relaxation lies at at all times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to shower for at least an hour every time just because I felt like I needed to relax to try and get rid of the problems that I did not want to face thus suppressing self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not care that my mother wanted me to take shorter showers because I'd rather feel relaxed as self interest to not face self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have people get mad at me because of my water abuse just because I didn't care and only cared for my ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I can save water by taking a bath because of how I loved how the water felt as it sprayed on me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as my back chat the whole time every time I took my hour showers which only was me telling me that my mind is acceptable when it was obvious that it was abusive by the water I would waste.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit in the shower forever to just go in circles in my mind, not taking any type of responsibility, just me support my abusive mind to be in control of me instead of me being in control of me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support my mind as I sat in the shower, this was me abusing me and the water which was me as well wasting it and myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take showers only when my aunt was not home so that I can stay in the shower as long as I wanted with out her saying anything about it, this is just dishonest and not acceptable in anyway but the mind which I chose to exist as.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be selfish towards water just because I chose to live one and equal to my mind which was me choosing to live one and equal to abuse, and choosing to exist this way causes me to not see the abuse that I exist as because I see the abuse as acceptable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cause money to be used because of the water and gas I used up which is fucked up and not a way of living which is as the mind which I chose to exist as.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider others by having water go down the drain serving no real purpose when water has a purpose and its purpose is to nourish human physical bodies which I stopped its purpose and meaning by existing as the mind which has no real purpose.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this pattern of taking long showers to feel relaxed when I don't feel relaxed which is how the mind operate's which is polarity what I chose to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to taking long showers just because I felt like shit, if I feel like shit then I am to deal with it with breathe and investigate what is causing it through self honesty and release it through self forgiveness so that I no longer exist as the mind and do what the mind tells me to do which is to abuse myself and others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by my demonic mind and use tons of water at someone else's expense just because I don't want to take self responsibility for whats going on within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that there are others in this world that do not have an easy access to water as I do and did, thus showing my selfishness even more that I chosen to exist as.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of taking limitless showers when people are limited on drinking water, the mind only goes further and further into how much it abuses which means that I only went further and further in accepting and allowing the abuse I chose to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get pissed off whenever I did not have water, when there are people in this world that die of impure water.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to replace drinking water with my addiction towards soda, only suppressing what I need to take responsibility for.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an energetic desire to quit soda just because I saw Destonians quiting sugar, this is separation of self, self not being here as the direct principle and causing me to only suppress my soda addiction with water.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good about not drinking soda as much as I abusively use to before in the past when this feeling good is separation of self by existing in the mind to not see what I have accepted and allowed and not facing self as self self honestly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink water abusively which is a manifestation of my suppression of drinking soda.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink extensive amounts of water daily out of my suppression of not taking self responsibility for my soda consumption.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of my position as someone that can use as much water as I please just because I am dishonest with myself and do not want to take self responsibility for what I am experiencing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have my girlfriend to be get mad at me for taking long showers, I am causing a cycle of endless repetitive actions that will keep me trapped unless I take self responsibility for what I accept and allow.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use taking long showers as a way of escape from the world momentarily in the actual physical it is a trapped pattern that I was stuck in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be neglectful by choosing to exist as the mind by my abusive water consumption and usage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my mind control me which caused me to cause this mess that I've created through my participation as the mind.

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