Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Self forgiveness on my aggression

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself take life as a joke, I am to take responsibility for what I am experiencing, life is not a joke.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to joke about almost everything that is here, I am here, jokes are an illusion of what is actually here and when I joke about what is actually here I separate myself from what is here so I don't allow myself to see what is here when I joke about what is here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make illusions of what is actually here, the physical is here and it is not a joke, it is being abused and joking around about it only causes the abuse to continue.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be aggressive with the mean and judgmental jokes I say towards the physical, the physical is not a joke, it is here and I am here too, so I am only joking, judging, and being aggressive towards self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the mind and make jokes about the physical, I am here as the physical, not the mind so the jokes I say are not real because they are not here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to joke around while being a child to escape reality momentarily, no matter what jokes I say I am still here at all times, the jokes I say are not here at all times, they are here for only a moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel the need to leave reality by joking all the time towards almost everything, I did nothing to support self except run away from what I need to deal with, I am responsible and I am to take that responsibility at all times, not joke at all times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to joke around a lot because of self pity, I am the only one that can support myself when things get tough, and joking around about a situation or experience is not an effective way of support, breath and self honesty is effective support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel the need to joke around because of boredom, if I am bored then I am to live as that and not separate myself from who I am at every moment whether I am bore or having fun.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the mind to entertain me as I am bore when me feeling bored is only my minds perception of reality which I believe in so then I manipulate myself to joke about things just because of my participation of the mind.
I myself for accepting and allowing myself to react as aggressive comments as jokes, which is a mind possession that I allow to react through my participation of the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a class clown growing up, this was separation from what I was to actually be doing which was school work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pay half attention to school and the other half by talking with friends, which resulted into me not giving a fuck about school later on when I got to high school, paying attention to only half of what my teacher would say in class was not taking full responsibility for myself so it was taking no responsibility at all for self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie and manipulate myself through my participation in the mind by thinking that it was okay to joke around in class and try to do my class work at the same time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by my jokes by the time I got into high school, I accepted and allowed myself to become a demon that did not do any school work at all, I see what I became now and know now that I am to not fall in the same pattern of self neglect.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look forward to only lunch time and after school just so that I can joke around with friends, thus abdicating self responsibility towards school.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek attention from the jokes I made in high school, I am the only one that needs to pay attention to me as breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have my jokes with friends become joke about them, this shows how inconsistent the mind that I participated in was because of how it changed from just joking around about random shit to joking about the friends I hung out with.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have joke battles with my friends, accepting and allowing the limited mind to compete with friends about their facial structure when they had everything that I have on my face just in a different shape and form but they preform the same exact things.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become an abusive friend by thinking and preparing jokes for them and about them everyday making it my life at the time which was a waste of time and my life and theirs, but this is because of my participation of the mind, thus existing as the mind is a complete waste of time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself and others by saying racial jokes, we are all one and equal with in reality so the jokes I said were not real at all so I should not have participated as them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to joke a around with my friends daily at school just because they did not get offended, this would imply for me to make offensive jokes with other people I associate with that may offend them, thus me causing harm to others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge other people by making jokes about them with friends, just because others see talking shit about others is acceptable does not mean that I have to join in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think talking shit about people that walk by me is funny, by doing this I am saying that abusing others verbally and mentally is allowed and it is not, it is judging and ego, and me accepting my mind to in control of what is here, I am in control of what is here and that is the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by my back chat, I am here as the physical, not the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be abusive towards others through talking shit about people that I see that don't fit my self interest, separating myself from the physical even further, I am only talking shit about myself when I talk shit about others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go places with friends just to talk shit about others, this was intensional abuse towards others and this is not acceptable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become unequal to the physical by existing as the mind as thinking about what people should like what they should wear and what should be, they are the physical as well and they are equal to me no matter what the wear or look like or are, because what they really are is the physical and they are no different then I.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support my abusive mind, I am to support my physical at all times as breathe because if I am existing as breath then I would nit be abusing myself by continuing to see talk judging others is acceptable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place mind over matter, I am matter not my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the mind as patterns of abuse towards others by judging them, the patterns I live out now should only be what is best for all and breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this systematic program I created on my girlfriend, this is due to my participation with the mind as well and will only lead to more abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing and allowing myself pretend to smack my girlfriend, it may seem innocent but it will only continue to grow and can possibly escalate to something worse.
I forgive myself for a accepting and allowing to through socks at my girlfriend as if it was some innocent joke that has no consequences, the consequence would be seeing this type of behavior acceptable to all which it is not acceptable at all towards any and everyone.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use aggression towards my jokes, if I joke it should be along the lines as self support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Not see that existing as the mind only stops me from existing as breathe, that when i become breathe I do not think about abuse and because I am supporting the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see this whole entire time that i existed as all of this as the mind,I am the physical.

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