Friday, June 3, 2011

Self-Forgiveness On My Alcohol Abuse

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see alcohol as acceptable just because I had seen adults doing it when I was younger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consume alcohol daily, only drinking away my problems and memories when I am to take responsibility for what I accept and allow.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that alcohol was the adult thing to do as a child just because I saw relatives drinking alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wonder why adults drank alcohol and never asked, to later try it out myself as to experiment with alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol just because I saw it as the adult thing to do and because I wanted to experiment with friends.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol and not know the consequences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that people look dumb while they drink only to later on become one of those people I judged.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into drinking when I told myself that I would never drink just because of an opinion I had about people drinking which was not real(the opinion) that is why I gave in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not investigate what alcohol stood as and to just try it with not knowing its effects out of curiousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as someone with a high tolerance with alcohol when I was only comparing myself towards others and how fast they were effected by alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that just because I did not get drunk fast or effected by alcohol as easily as others did that I drink more only harming and abusing my human physical body.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that just because I never woke up with a hang over when I was younger no matter how much I drank that I could continue to drink daily when I never considered the accumulation effect that I have recently experience with in drinking alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that just because alcohol is socially accepted that I can drink too, when I should not be drinking as it harms my physical and society should not be drinking because alcohol only abuses all, alcohol does not support anyone with in whats best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I have to drink every time I go to a party.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink every time I went to a party; I was not being here as self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use money to support abuse towards my human physical body by consuming alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol at the age of seventeen, thus abdicating myself at an early age of self enjoyment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that alcohol made me more of a social person when all it did was make my back chat project into reality convincing me that back chat is acceptable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol for the fun I experienced which was only from a self interest point of view.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a automatic robot of back chat when ever I drank thus taking me away from whats really here for me at all times which is breathe as the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be fully aware of who and what I existed as while being under the influence of alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like shit all of those mornings after drinking alcohol just for my self interest and ego.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hot as I woke up every morning because of my selfishness to have fun and party which always involved alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to drink alcohol even though I experienced consequences like hang overs or stuffy noses, I was too into my mind to even care about myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have headaches because of the amount of alcohol I consumed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think just because I drank a little that it was okay, which was me still existing as my mind and as back chat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol only because of how I feel like my life was hard, when I am only solving a problem with a problem and not becoming the solution.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make life hard on myself by drinking alcohol to rid myself of the memories, feelings, and emotions that I do not want to face.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol to shut down my memory system momentarily just to forget about a hard day or not to face things that I need to face, and just suppressing myself even more, when I am to take responsibility for what it is I exist as and face self here as breath self honesty and self forgiveness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to poison myself with alcohol doing who's know what kinds of damage, I will no longer participate in this poison that causes me to not face myself here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself physically with alcohol just to not face myself and take responsibility for what is here and what I choose to exist as.

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