Saturday, June 11, 2011

Self Forgiveness On My Migraines

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unconscious of my breathing, it is separation from who I am as the physical here, so me not paying attention to every breath is me not being here as the physical one and equal to life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as only thoughts feelings and emotions, which is me not giving myself to opportunity to be one and equal to who I am as the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect who I am as the physical by choosing to participate one and equal to the mind which is me considering nothing but myself when there is a whole world around me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist only as the mind, I am here, I am the physical, so I am to be here as breathe and not the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk to myself in the mind about how shitty my life is blaming others when I am to take self responsibility for what is here as me as the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to talk and pray to god every time I thought my life was getting shittier abdicating self responsibility, I am the one that creates the thoughts feelings and emotions towards how shitty I think life is and if it is shitty then I am the one that must change it, not god, god can't because there is no god and even if there was then I would be considering myself to be his slave by blaming god for my life that I think is shitty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge everything that I did not agree with because of the self interests I've made, none of the judgement's I made were real and neither was my self interests, what is real is the physical and what I am to do is to take self responsibility for what I judge by forgiving myself for the judgement's I place on others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others out of lack of understanding, this is because I have chosen to exist as the limited mind and I was not able to see things for what they really are/were.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define people according to my feelings towards them, this was not real, this was assumptions based on an energetic experience that would take place in the mind, none of those feelings were here for all to see and they were only lies I told myself out of lack of understanding what it was that I was experiencing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have opinions towards other in my secret mind based on self interest which I allowed to direct me, I am the directive principle here and I am not my opinions for they are not real unless I participate in believing them to be real and even still they are not real because they are not here as the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my opinions about others are real, my physical body is real and that is the only thing I should be supporting and considering because my physical is life, my opinions about life are not what needs support or consideration because these opinions I have about life are only considering and supporting my abusive mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only exist in my mind never considering what is actually here, the physical is here and I am here as the physical and I am to only exist as my physical as breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live as my back chat only causing many migraines for me to experience, when I am here as the physical the migraines are not here because I am here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cause myself to see myself as a victim of back chat which later on caused me to see myself as a victim to my many migraines that I created, I am not a victim, I am to here as breathe to take responsibility for my back chatting mind by stopping it and directing myself here in the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss school because of my many migraines that I created.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate the fact that I had migraines so constantly because I chose to exist as my back chat, I am not my thoughts, I am the physical human body that I possess and I am to exist only as what I am not as what I am not.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become in a paralyzed state because of the consequences of me living as my mind as back chat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate when I didn't eat because I knew it would cause a headache later on, this was me fearing pain which was not real, what is real is the experience of pain and the fact that there is not always going to be food so instead of being in self pity and causing more back chat I should have seen this as unacceptable and investigate why things were the way they were and then find a solution to the problem then when I become older I can do something about the problem, which was people not having enough money to eat normally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only exist as breathe when I was in pain and not to exist as breathe at all times, I should have seen that if breathe can get rid of my migraines then they can get rid of the constant chatter I accepted myself to exist as.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trade breathe for smoking weed to release myself from my migraines, this went from a practical way of relieving the pain I caused to a complicated form of suppression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and get rid of my migraines completely by daily weed smoking which only suppressed my migraines for three years; I wanted to escape from the reality that I created thus separating myself from myself for three years.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget how bad my migraines were because I had suppressed them for so long with weed, if I have a migraine I am to see what self honestly caused it which would be me and I am to take care of it immediately.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my unbearable migraines as a way to get my medical license so that I can purchase better quality weed from medical shops, this was using the abuse that I created for myself to get what I wanted and desired which was weed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a medical license for two years, supporting the idea that it's okay for me to smoke weed whenever I wanted which was all day long.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smoke weed behind my girlfriends back still on a daily basis, lying to her and myself, not standing up for self as self responsibility and only wanting to hide in my mind with weed, this is selfish and is an abusive part of who I've allowed myself to become, till here no further.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie and delude myself into thinking that the whole time that I smoked weed that my migraines were cured, I will no longer delude myself as long as I live in actual reality and not to participate as my mind which causes the delusion through my acceptance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my migraines by smoking weed for three years, I deal with my migraines, not weed because that is separation and I am here so I am not to separate myself from here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience the consequence of smoking weed for three years to try and escape my migraines by having them come back even worse then the times I had them before.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my back chat for three years to direct me to smoke weed everyday so that when I stopped I would only experience worse migraines then before, I cause and created all of this for myself due to all the back chat I had before I started smoking weed about my migraines which was me trying to find the ultimate solution which turned out to be only a temporary suppression that had a consequential outflow that caused only more pain and suffering towards my physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to learn from my mistakes when I should be knowing all possibilities and consequences from the actions I take and the choices I choose.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be pinned down and trapped by my years of self abuse and self neglect, this was me choosing mind over matter and that is not how reality works.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cause my migraines to become so intense that breathe would hardly do anything for them, this was because of how long I chose to exist as separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be able to eat because of how sharp the pain was for me from my migraines, they were too much for me to do anything and it was because I abdicated self responsibility and chose to exist as separation as the mind, I am not separation of the mind, I am the physical as breathe and that is what I will continue to exist as.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take medicine to try to get rid of my headaches, this was even more separation by using a different drug for a different separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have these intense migraines because of the years of suppression I chose to exist as not considering the consequence, I am here and I will consider all consequences that are here when ever I experience a choice or decision I have to make.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create myself to experience daily migraines because of me choosing to exist as self interest, my self interest is not real but the pain and consequence that I go through and that my physical goes through is real and was not considered during the whole three years I smoked weed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not face myself as by suppressing myself and my problems by smoking weed for three years, I am here in every moment to face myself in self honesty to stop my patterns of abuse towards life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to breathe and not giving myself a chance to live with a clear head by staying in my mind and constantly existing as thoughts opinions ideas belief ect., I am here in this reality as breathe in every moment so this is what I am to exist as since breathe is what I do the most while here so I am my breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to my mind, I've allowed myself to be imprisoned to my self interest and ego thus not allowing self to be free as breathe as here in the physical reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a long path of separation that I have to delete and recreated all because I chose to live as my mind that does not consider anything but itself, my new path will be the path to oneness and equality to bring about a change in not only me but the entire world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create such a mess of myself to where I can't even see the common sense in that we are here as breathe and not the mind, we are one and equal to the physical unless we abdicate ourselves from the physical as the mind.

No comments:

Post a Comment