Tuesday, July 19, 2011

self forgiveness on day of 7/18/11

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thoughts of complaint towards the ammount of food i ate, if that is all i have for food then that is what i have to deal with, complaining about it is just conjured up in my mind because i am not satisfied, complaining is not going to get me more food.

i forigve myself for accepting and allowing myself to complain in my mind about how much food i had for breakfast yesterday, as if complaining is taking responsibility for anything here in the physical, by me allowing myself to complain in the mind i am only allowing myself to participate in the mind as complaints as if these complaints are real, i am real, here physically and for me to participate in the minds delusion is an illusion that i cant escape unless i breathe.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anger because of the ammount of food i had for breakfast yesterday, if was here as breathe and self honesty then i would have seen that that was all i had food wise and couldnt do nothing about, and no matter what emotions come up within me because of the thoughts i accepted, does not make the situation im in any better and just allowins myself to separate me from what is here in self honesty.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that i am actually physically my emotions, emotions are not who i am as life, breathe is so while im busy experiencing these emotions i am not allowing myself to experience me being here as breathe as life as who i really am here in every moment.

i fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thoughts of me making myself feel better because of the emotions that i was experiencing, if i didnt participate in the mind so frequently then i wouldnt have to make myself feel better to try to escape what i created which was the emotion and thoguhts of anger.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger because my vlog took all day to upload, being here as breathe does not allow me to be possessed by anger, i allow myself to be possessed by anger which traps me from seeing that these type of this happen and that i am not in control all the time, so what use is there getting angry over something when breathe is here for me to not allow such possessions of separation.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself from who i am as breathe, living these emotions are to be dealt with by breathe not by living through them as if they are acceptable, they are abusive towards self and all of life because i can project it out towards others which is something i would not like done to me.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself be possessed by thoughts of my moms computer sucking because it was taking forever in my opinion and really the connection down here is not really too great so if i know this then i am to understand that and deal it in a responsible and effective manner, complaining about the problem will only make it worse, breathing will assist me to go through the problem in stabilty so that i can see self honestly that complaining in the mind will not solve anything.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate the computer just because it wasnt working properly, hating it will not make it work any better and if it worked properly then i would only be asking myself to exist as polarity to love the computer when it does work properly, being possessed by the mind keeps me locked away from what is here.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to question how long the uploading will take, being impatient, existing as the mind, wanting everything done right then and there, when i can be here to support myself as breathe.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go even futher in my impatience by participating in thoughts about my mom better make it in time for the post office to ship out my letter for my girlfriend, if she made it in time then she does, and if she doesnt then she doesnt, me talking in the mind about this is useless and needs to be stopped by me participating in breathe.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become mentally possessed by my emotions because i was worrying about my mom making it in time for my mail to be shipped out, this possession is through my participation and when i allow it, i allow myself to separate myself from who i am as breathe.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become physically possessed by my mind to call my mom to make sure that she sent the letter to the post office, if i was here as breathe i would have no need to become controlled by my thoughts to call my mother to make sure that the letter was sent.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how fat my mom was, i am just judging another and being an observer instead of a participator, obsevring with my opinions are decietful and i am not being self honest as to what i am accepting and allowing.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and blame others for the poor reception to the internet, if i want my video to upload i have to be patient as breathe.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that i am superior to the kids by telling them when they can use the computer, the reason the computer could not be used is because it was busy uploading a video not because i am older then them to demand them to stay off it.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thoughts of impatince by telling myself finally the video uploaded, if i participate in breathe at all times then i would realize that eventually the video would upload.

i forgive msyself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the kids were lucky that they didnt mess up the uploadding, it would not be their fault and i should not be looking to blame anyone, i should be here as breathe seeing every moment in self honesty instead of participating in the mind as separation.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the desire for a cigarette because of the stress i created on self through my participation of the mind.

i forigve myself for accepting and allowing myself to have this scene in my mind to of my moms husband hitting her, this is because of the thougths i have of him by thinking one day he will become so possessed by his anger that one day he will just snap, this is not real and if it did become real then if i am here as breathe and me fully here then i would know exactly what needs to be done.

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