Hi this is james morris. I am 22 years old, I am living with my mom for three to four months. I am waiting for my girlfriend to come back from bootcamp so that we can have our own house together.
I was living with her for three years without her father knowing that I lived there so I would basically sneak in and out everyday with the help from my girlfriends mom. I was tired of living this way and my girlfriend was tired of having me sneak in and out for everything so she decided to join the navy so that we can have a place to live and free health care.
I never really could keep a job because have always been a lazy person never really committed to anything which I can see how that personality had developed because of the life style I had, with my mom always struggling for money and a place to live and lights and gas bills hardly paid on time. Instead of this motivateing me to become someone that hates living in shitty conditions, I had gotten use to living in a 'crappy' lifestyle.
My girlfriend supports me financially and she still does, I plan on getting a job while she is in bootcamp but it will only be for how ever long she is gone and then I have to go looking again.
I came across desteni because I was always looking for the meaning of life, I went from believing god to becoming a theist to becoming an atheist, then to meditation. The various phases I went through to discovering life had been a total mind fuck, just soaking up all that information like a spounge and never realizing that I am here. I only considered outside information that was not me to become me, just gulible as hell never considering self.
My meditation was all about 'stopping the mind' but it was all in separation from the physical reality, I would stop my mind to eperience this wonderful feelings that I never experienced so I would daily go youtube and watch vids on meditation. One day I came across desteni and saw sunette discussing something about stopping the mind and being here as breathe but I didnt consider being here participating in the physical reality as breathe I only considered the information and beliefs that I had previously, on stopping the mind while sitting down high off weed and focusing on my breathe. So I went through a phase of insanity where I was completely possessed by the information of my mind that I allowed and mind fucked myself. I got to videos of andrea discussing when she was possessed by a demon and somehow I misinterpretted as; I need to become possessed by 'my demon' (which I thought would turn into my higher conscious). I eventually came to a video of sunette discussing how meditaion was a form of separation to who we are as the physical reality and I realized that this is true in one moment, in one breathe I told myself I will never meditate again because I know that this whole time I was separating myself from the physical reality.
This realization took place about seven to eight months ago maybe longer and a few weeks after my realization that I was separating myself from reality through meditation I started watching more videos and actually understanding ever word that was said and why it was said by sunette and bernard. So this was the start of me knowing that I create my reality in every moment and every breathe and that I am responsible through all of those moments and breathes and that I need to stop the patterns in my mind that only abuse me and the world I live in. I started to watch videos of other destonians and was amazed by their accomplishments and how effeective they were within explaining their points from pure simplicity. I told myself that I will be one and equal to these people because they are supporting all life equally and they are one with themselves and life. They reseach, they do their home work, they are supportive to all, they have a solution for all, they consider all life equally, they are responsible, they use only commonsense and do not brag about having this sense, they take self responsibility for all of what they have existed as, they face their fears/ themselves, they stop the mind and are still here, they over come their preprogrammed selves, and the list goes on. I know that this was a process ment for all because I saw it for myself with all the blogs and vlogs I read from various destonians. Anyone can become one and equal to who they are as life, and this is what the DIP is all about, training the human to take responsibility for the world and to change it to what is best for all, this is why I am taking the ITD, because I am an equal contributer to this physical reality, I am equally responsible for this fuck up of a world that is here. I am equally here in this reality so it is my duty take responsibility for what is here on this planet that I am here with, otherwise I would be lying to myself like I was the whole time before I came to desteni.
So I blogged for sponsorship and was approved so that I can support myself to become a more effective being in life. I am thanking desteni for showing the tools of writing self to freedom, self honesty, self forgiveness, self corrective application, and breathing while participating in physical time. These tools support all that use their mind as ego and abuse or ignorance. It is up to the 'individual' to see this though and I have that is why I have decided to take self responsibility to become a being that is supportive towards all by taking the DIP. Thanks for reading.