Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Why I Stop The Mind

From the beginning of time mankind has been anything but kind. We have taken over lands through bloodshed and mass murdering of populations. Now I was taught in school that America was brought about by Christopher Columbus coming over here to spread freedom of religion. To do so he killed countless natives and I saw nothing wrong with this. While in school I did not question what was being taught because I saw this as acceptable. But is it really, killing a shitload of people for freedom of beliefs. So we disregard others way of living to live our own through killing. What bullshit this is to kill others because they don’t THINK like you. This is what we just accept blindly, not considering anything else but our beliefs that are not real in the first place. What was real was that a lot of people died due to these beliefs so to live our beliefs there has to be some type of sacrifice of others lives or life period.

Sounds familiar too, within how we believe that profit is what is best for all when people die because of this belief by not being as effective as others in generating profit. For the mind to live as it’s made up beliefs it has to kill those that can’t participate within the belief. That is ego, thinking that one way is better than the other when really there is no better way than the way that is required for all to live which is equality and oneness. How, well within equality and oneness there is no belief, there is just actual necessary common sense towards what is required to live. Within oneness and equality there is no mind because the mind only considers what it believes and within oneness and equality all are considered, all are equal and all are one so there is no separation as the mind as beliefs.

We as man as the mind claim that this is mine, this land is mine, this house is mine, this girl is mine, these resources are mine, mine, mine, mind; these possessions are mine, so in doing so we possess ourselves with these possessions. This is separation, this is the mind and this is what the mind only considers, is itself, so within the mind oneness and equality cannot exist because it is all about itself and what it believes and what it wants and what the mind possess’ itself with.

This is why those of us at desteni stop the mind because there is no way one can stand within the principle of oneness and equality because the mind will not consider all as one and equal but will see all as separate and as divided.

 Man-kind (man support) is anything but kind because man lives as the mind so we are man-mind (man abuse) instead of mankind further proving that we are living as the total opposite of who we are (separation/inequality). You either consider self and only self as the mind as inequality and separation, or you consider all and everything as you as equality and oneness. Considering all and everything as you is oneness and equality, and considering only self as separation of all is the mind as ego.

The mind is here as a separate reality as opinions, beliefs, and thoughts that are in no way real like the physical reality, we are all in our bodies, our bodies are what keep us here in this reality so that is who we really are which is our bodies which is the physical. The mind only abuses the physical and abuses as diseases are mainly caused by the thoughts of people. So thoughts as the mind does not support the physical reality that we are, so lets live as who we are which is the physical because the physical is the only thing that can support the physical. As history is proof enough to show that the mind only abuses the physical reality through force and brutality and if the mind is in separation from the physical reality than it is only commonsense that it will not consider the physical reality and just consume the shit out of it till there is no more to consume/take. By destroying this world we will be destroying ourselves, so lets stop this self destruction and live as self correction till self perfection. Thanks for reading. If you understand what I mean then look up the desteni I process to see how there is a solution for the mind and its abuse. Lates, equality for all we see.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Good-Bye Mind, Hello Breathe

I went out for a talk. I first walk as I did the four count breathe which is cool to do while walking because every four steps I will breathe in for four steps, than hold for four steps, than out for four steps, than hold out for four steps and so on.

I did this for who knows how long, but it was for a good period of time if you will.

I start talking after I knew I was completely stable, here, clear, and ready to take on this point that I dared to face which was stopping smoking.

I had stopped for two days. I noticed though that through those two days that the cravings were gone and all I had left were just weak thoughts. So what I did was when a thought came up about smoking a cigarette I would do a one liner self forgiveness state meant and breathe through it.

Eventually I fell after two days with no smoking.

Well this walk I just went on now discussing this point was about why did I fall within this point that was going so well. Well I noticed that I re-LIED on this point that there was no urges anymore, that I was pretty much happy that the cravings that once possessed me daily were gone so I am fixed, that I am fine, that I am done. Obviously this was not so as I fell eventually just relying on this “accomplishment” of I have no more urges.

Another point that came up while on this walk was that I always was dishonest with self and others about cigarettes. I would hide it from people like my girlfriend, and now my moms husband. I never talked this point out or faced it, and what it is showing me is that by me hiding smoking that I am being dishonest towards others which is really dishonest with self because I am the one living as something that I am not which is still smoking. It is a reflection on how I am dishonest with self for me to hide that I smoke cigarettes.

I need to get over this and face my dishonesties. I see from all this that every time I have a thought of smoking a cigarette to look at that point and do more of an effective self forgiveness so that I can have more of an effective application within living my correction. That whenever I have a thought no matter how light it is or insignificant it seems that I am to take self responsibility for what I allow within myself still. I need to be self determined in directing self to face self in every moment that self needs to be faced. I need to become one and equal to the thoughts that I have and not in a participating way where I act on the thought, but in a way that I can see what I am existing, so that I can see what I am allowing and simply put a stop to it right than and there, instead of relying on the fact that I deleted the urges or cravings I once had. the thoughts are what caused the cravings in the first place so the thoughts are what are left within me so now it is a matter of me facing these thoughts till they are here no further, till all that remain is me here.

I will myself to stop these thoughts that are still lingering inside me that still cause me to smoke, I stop myself from not seeing myself as one and equal to these thoughts to stop them at all times. I am here as breathe so in every breathe I will face myself and stop the suppression I cause myself to experience thus creating me to time loop and continue the same abuse that I once feared facing. I stand for myself as myself as my breathe to stop the abuse that I have allowed for too long now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to share this blog for all to see, thus hiding from others the dishonesties live, therefore hiding myself from myself to not face self.

I stand no matter how much I fall, I will get back up until I’m done.

Thanks for reading always here James

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Falling, Failing, Giving Up are all just not Standing.

I went for a walk last night, breathing being here to communicate with myself about giving up on self. I did this because this whole time I have been giving up on stopping smoking. I never saw it within myself that I can stop smoking; I never saw this as a possibility. So while walking and talking I told myself to first keep this simple, don’t get lost on some random point just stay here focused on this giving up point that you allow yourself to be.

So I asked myself, why do I give up? I looked at that and saw that me giving up on myself is me not facing myself, simple. So I looked at the point even further and just kept talking out loud to clarify how I don’t want to face myself. The reason I see giving up as acceptable is only because I have lived it. Living this giving up-ness has allowed me to live my life to not face myself.  So because I live giving up on myself I never saw that it was required for me to face myself.

What is funny is that it is not required for one to give up. Giving up on self and not facing self is not a requirement to live so this whole time of me living as this ‘failure’ you can call it, has been just a mind fuck of excuses and justifications that I believed were acceptable to live as.

What was funny is that when I went through this point of giving up it took me a while to see that giving up was not ‘standing’, and the reason that was is because I never really stood in my life, just blindly soaked in information, being this gullible machine that sucked in information and spit it out.

I came to understand that I need to stand. I have to stand because otherwise I will just be giving up and falling or failing. Falling is just the consequence of not standing and that is not to be feared (falling). I have fallen enough through my life and through my process. It is time for me to take this point by point slowly so that I can see what I am doing instead of finding some short cut fast route which would cause one to miss the simplest of all points.

I tried to find the source of the problem, like where have I before experienced or learned or picked up this giving up within self to not face self. I paused for some time, just focusing on breathe and looking for the point to bring here but never found it. I came to realize that this is an unconscious point that was taught to me unconsciously through friends and family. This point was not a deliberate point in where friends and family directed me saying “James give up and don’t face your problems” no. This point was learned without my awareness. I programmed myself without the intension, so through my participation with others giving up on themselves and not facing themselves which is socially accepted but in an unconscious sense. So say others are smoking cigarettes to not face themselves which they are than I come along and smoke for the same reason but have this lie that I do it for enjoyment. Whether I am aware or not, I support all reasons why one would smoke.

I came to see at the end of this communication with self that if I am giving up and supporting giving up than I am supporting all to give up on themselves and not face themselves. If I do what is required and face myself here in every moment as breathe than I am supporting all to do stand and face who they allow themselves to be.

Today I have had really light cravings but directing self and standing is way more effective to live, plus with the rewiring of my pre-existent idea of smoking and revealing what is actually was which help support the cravings to just be light to the point where I can face them instead of just submitting and falling every time.  I forgive myself whenever I think of a cigarette and stop the mind and its abuse. Cool stuff here and we will see if this point will be transcended by me.

Well thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed as I did.                                                         Always here James

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Starving the mind

So I went for a walk to focus on my breathe the night before and as soon as I went out the thought of a cigarette came over me and I told myself, “I am out here for breathe” so I started breathing for five minutes and started talking to myself out loud, in a direct way for self realization, because if I did thins in the mind it would pretty much just end up as a mind fuck and not as supportive as it would not be here with me aloud in the physical.

What I started talking about was me failing within my cigarette consumption and how this whole time I was not facing myself while smoking cigarette. I started with asking myself why do I even want to quit? Because for months I have been putting this point off and not actually dealing with it. I know it is because I don’t feel like I can will myself to do this, because I think I am to weak to handle such a point which is my cigarette addiction. So I realized that I my starting point in wanting to stop being a smoker was simply a point of fear. A fear of self destruction, a fear of death. I asked myself well what is this fear coming from? Obviously it was the from the consequence from being a smoker which was self destruction or death. I realized that this was not to be fear because it was just the consequecne when someone only considers to abuse themselves instead of supporting self.

I than told myself well the obvious consequence from being a non-smoker is supporting self to remain here and for me to support myself here, I must not have a starting point of fear or stop smoking because of fear because if I do than what am I allowing? I am allowing myself to be controlled by this fear and not controlling myself directing myself because if I feel forced or will be forced to quit smoking than I am still subjected to preprogramming or subject to the mind as fear. I told myself that I will be my consequence so that I am not controlled by prepregramming. I told myself that I will not be a smoker anymore out of fear of self destruction and that I will determine my consequence through my awareness instead of blindly going through life.

This whole time I never saw quiting a possibility. Like I always wanted to for about two years but never thought I could and I have forgave myself but never really live the forgiveness because I thought of self forgiveness as this mericle worker when it is in fact not. It is a great tool for self realization and seeing how one has accepted and allowed certain points within self but it is not magic and does not stop self, only self can stop self and that is through tools like self forgiveness, breathing, self corrective application, and self honesty.

When I woke up yesterday, I started breathing. Usually after I am done with breathing for ten minutes I will have this uncontrollable urge to smoke a cigarette. But yesterday I didn’t even pop up, no urge nodesire, no thought. I found this fascinating, and hours go by with still no intension for a cigarette. Finally in the afternoon I have a feeling that basically says”hey its cigarette time.”now this is the same feeling I get everyday when I crave a cigarette but this was more extremely light as it was not as controlling as it had been on me before in where I would normally feel like I HAVE TO have a cigarette. It was so light that I didn’t act on it. I was able to control myself to stop myself from being controlled by what I have accepted and allowed which was really interesting.

So I went the whole day without smoking one but than I fell. I smoked one around 10:00pm last night but when I smoked it, it was not a point of desire for one, it was more of the sense of me giving up, and not actually wanting to give up my self interest. So this point of me giving up will be discussed with tonight as I go for another walk so that I am clear with myself and can actually stop this whole cigarette point that I have been putting off for some time now. From what I see right now is that I smoked last night because I feel as if I have already gaven up on myself. This will be handled tonight as I said in where I will find the sorce of me and my giving up-ness.

Thanks for reading, always here James